Corporate Life Warrior Gifts

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

37 years in the same position.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

Office slaves.

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

National Boss Monument.

Working Late

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'