Corporate Culture Warrior Gifts

"I told you today wasn't a good time to ask him for a raise in pay."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"We have an acronym!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"At this office no two days are different."

Office slaves.

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

National Boss Monument.

Parade of Businessmen

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

'Something tells me this is going to be a long meeting.'

"I think you might need to start again."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."