Career Warriors Gifts

"Interviews are always stressful...this is his fourteenth....and they all turned him down!"

Ladder of Success.

"She plateaued when she hit the glass mezzanine."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'

Office slaves.

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Did you just show your teeth at me Wilson?'

'Here's another one that'll make you blow your stack.'

Working Late

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

'...we have every new employee spend time on our assembly line. Eight hours, no breaks.'

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'