Career Comics Gifts

'False alarm! I'm back. It was only a career suicide.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"....how many kids have we got now?"

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Working 9 to 5.

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."