Career Comic Lover Gifts

'I looked over your resume and the good news is I like the paper it was typed on. Do you really want to know the bad news?'

"Any other skills besides having the ability to look busy?"

'So, you're looking for casual labour!'

"We can't offer you a golden parachute, however we do provide a very attractive escape hatch."

'You're not the only one who thinks they've got the worst job in the world.'

"The pay will be commensurate with your ability to pull the wool over my eyes."

'Just put me down as 'White Collar Worker'!'

Bob never could hold down a steady job. Even got canned in the can.

Actually, we're not looking for an evil genius right now.

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."