Career Comedy Critic Pillows

"Do you think this would work for the Wilkin's account."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

"Amateurs."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Non Thought For The Day.

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"