Career Comedy Critic Prints

"Do you think this would work for the Wilkin's account."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"Amateurs."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Non Thought For The Day.

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics! (Published originally on February 9, 2013).

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

A skip full of fools.

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

This action stuff is okay, but try a romance or comedy next time.

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"