Car Troubles Conqueror Gifts

'Oh, nuts! I locked the keys in the car!'

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Commutobile

"...when you're through in there, my kids room could use a demonstration too."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"That's the Ommbudsman."

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Monday morning is nigh.

"Frank?"

"At least it's not as busy as last night!"

Commuter reads book entitled: Commuters for Dummies.

'Don't internalise that simmering rage -- get it out of your system on website comments sections.'

"I ran out of answers before she ran out of questions."

"Okay, Brian, it’s time to shut down your brain, quiet the anxious thoughts and begin to relax—just let it all go... and take a Valium."

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'Good news! We've finished the Christmas leftovers.'

"...Under pressure?..gain instant relief with Doctor Bengts information overload adjuster...."

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

Man with world on his shoulders

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

Employees have 'carrot and stick' set-up with coffee, biscuits and pastries. Chairman says: 'These are a crucial part of our new campaign to get employees walking to work.'

"Time to wake up, Jim. It's Monday morning."

'You have to start leaving for work earlier. Even I beat you to the office this morning.'

The Off-Roading Commuter

"Who do I complain to about your complaint department?"

"..We're going to attempt to commute into London by train."

'How come your hard days at the office are harder than anyone else's hard days at the office.'

'Can I take the backhoe home tonight? I need to clean out my son's room.'

"So, once again, Mrs Smith, it's grab handle, grip firmly, and pull straight towards you..."

'Our product flooded the market...before backing up in a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

'On the good side though, it IS close to the office!'