Car Insurance Economist Gifts

'Oh him? That's Frank. My parents made me take in a boarder to cover the cost of my car insurance.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'Good news, Mr. Blume! Your condition isn't serious - just expensive.'

The Public Option

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'You mean that if one of us came to a sticky end I would receive a hundred thousand?'

HOLY LAND INSURANCE CO. , 'Darn you, Methuselah! -- You've completely

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

'I'm sorry Bill, but some things in medicine we doctors just can't explain...like insurance forms.'

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"No, I didn't say, 'health'. I said I'm concerned about your wealth... Can you afford to pay my bill?"

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

Here's my dental insurance card. Sorry. Twig had a visit within the last 6 months. This one's not covered. That was a check-up. This is an emergency. How about Twig's chipped tooth? Your policy doesn't cover cosmetic problems. Now I get it! My insurance is cosmetic. Have a nice day!

Reducing Health care costs with health and fitness programs

"I'm not here to take away your guns—I'm here to sell you some overpriced insurance."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

'Your coverages suggest it will spread rapidly to your wallet.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'