Car Crash Collector Pillows

Car crashed into warning sign

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

James May

Acme Flyswatters.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

Driverless tow truck.

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Do you have anything smaller?"

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Look at the inventory! The overhead is killing me! And you're haggling over the price of floor mats!"

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

"I'm sorry Joet...I shouldn't be mad. In fact, congratulations! You saved your money. You deserve the finest ride on the planet."

It's very quick and looks great in speed camera photos.