Car Crash Collector T-Shirts

Car crashed into warning sign

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

Acme Flyswatters.

"At first I thought it was just coincidence, then I noticed it corresponded perfectly to your shift."

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

This one has a gadget that tells you how much you still owe on it.

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

It's very quick and looks great in speed camera photos.

"Look at the inventory! The overhead is killing me! And you're haggling over the price of floor mats!"