Injury Collector T-Shirts

Excess Baggage: Some travelers collect truly unique souvenirs.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Six jazz instruments.

'This must be heaven, because you sure look like an angel....'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

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'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

OMG UR HOT

'Do you come here often?'

'This is your lucky day!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I wonder what this was for."