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"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"Please feel free to browse."

"I wonder what this was for."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

The dead sea scrolls

A complimentary biscuit

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'