Car Crash Cartographer Gifts

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'Oops. I set my auto pilot to go to Saratoga ... New York.'

"Sir, I'm afraid there's no easy way to say this..."

Crash Test Dummy Jokes that Get Old Fast. Oh, no! Somebody cut the brakes! Every single time.

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

Car crashed into warning sign

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

I think I may have scratched your car Capt. McRae...

"You know what's about to happen and you still got in the car. But yet I'm called the dummy."

American and European Economy.

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

"I'd like 40 kilos of pain killers, please."

'We have a new tribe member everyone. We will call him'Crashes-His-Volvo.'

On this Day in 1959 Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob Muscovitch, a Detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

"On the plus side, you've cured my back pain."

'Maybe his name is Sue?'

'Bob, call you back. A big auto body job just drove in.'

'I don't like being a crash test dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

"The car you were conceived in was in an accident, but you weren't an accident."

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

"Back in the day, I did that for a living. . ."

'What's the point of insurance if you don't use it?'

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

'No, something really slinky -- I wrecked the car!'

Lawyer to client about crash test dummy: 'We did a driving record search, and needless to say, we struck gold.'

'Can you hang on for half an hour? We're still waiting for the reality TV crew to turn up'

'You've been in many accidents so we'll have to rate you higher for an auto insurance policy.'

Blowing your nose musically.