Car Conversationist Gifts

'My husband has been on to my driving since we left home and now you start in!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Could I ask just one question?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

Support groups for car repairs.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

Psychic Car Mechanics.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"It's worse than I thought."

Psychic car mechanics.

"I'll have to go now, Penny. My boyfriend keeps wittering on about something or other!"

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

When did you last have your oil changed?

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

"You might be poor and ugly but you're the only one who didn't blather about politics and climate change after ten minutes. What's your name? Marry me!"

(Visual gag) Taxidermist.

CLEAR!