Car Talkers Gifts

'If you saw the car coming, why didn't you honk?'

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"A kiss? But I just brushed my teeth."

No U-turns

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

"These new cars have so many sensors, they're ticklish."

"We did everything possible, doc, but I'm afraid your car passed away during the night!"

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

"They said it had a V-8, so I assumed it would run on tomato juice!"

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

Frog rearview mirror ornaments.

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

Parking? I don't think so.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.