Car Communication Buff Gifts

Get a move on, you idiot!

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"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

She - Interpreter - He.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Letter Collecting Nerd

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

'Let us pray...'

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

The Love Psychologists

They had a tendency to talk past one another.

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

'I was just ringing to see if you'd got the email about my letter.'

'No, there's nothing on my mind, but if there was I don't want to talk about it.'

Technological advances within the office.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

Relationship Issues.

'He says he needs his own space.'

"I've never seen a resume that's entirely made up of emojis. Let me take a few moments to decode it."