Car Air Freshener Collector T-Shirts

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

"Do you buy cars here?"

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

James May

Acme Flyswatters.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'It's an '07 model. I JUST finished putting it together.'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

"What pheromone are you using?"

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

Driverless tow truck.

"Do you have anything smaller?"

'You're just in time. But your attaché case is late again.'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

"Got any new monster trucks?"