Car Smell Collector T-Shirts

"Can I collect some new car smell in this jar? We're trying to coax dad to buy a new car."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'It seats two comfortably.'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

Pheromones.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Top model

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Acme Flyswatters.

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"What pheromone are you using?"

Driverless tow truck.

"Do you have anything smaller?"

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Millipede motorist

"Got any new monster trucks?"