Car Smell Collector Gifts

"Can I collect some new car smell in this jar? We're trying to coax dad to buy a new car."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

Pheromones.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Old Book Smell

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

Acme Flyswatters.

James May

Top model

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

"Of course it's not a mirage - mirages don't wear Chanel No 5."

Driverless tow truck.

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Millipede motorist

"What pheromone are you using?"

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Do you have anything smaller?"