Car Air Freshener Collector Pillows

'If the 750ml and th 375ml of the '82 Beaumont are too pricey, how about their Merlot-scented auto air freshener? -- Only 99 cents.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

Whiskers realized he'd grown tired of the rat race.

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Acme Flyswatters.

'It's an '07 model. I JUST finished putting it together.'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"...as the devices were nestled on their chargers with care,..."

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"What pheromone are you using?"

"Do you have anything smaller?"

'You're just in time. But your attaché case is late again.'

Driverless tow truck.

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."