Captain's Feast Fan Gifts

Kirks & Tacos

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Regular service or affected?"

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

Champagne at the hunt

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

'Pardon me, M'sieur -- Did you order 'grilled cheese' or 'chilled grease'?'

Turkey Sandwich anyone?

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

"Shake yer booty!"

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

Ahh, Chicken Soup

Try our AMAZING Soups!

"The wrangler within wants pancakes."

Antonio Carluccio.

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

We'll pass on the entrees...

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Next time I get to choose the weapon first.

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'

"And the special tonight is...some kind of unpronounceable, convoluted, uncommon and rather bizarre green or other..."

'Whatever he's drinking.'

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

Turkey Black Fridays.

'And if you like comfort food, I would recommend the Xanax stuffed pork -loin.'

'Of course the steak's TOUGH-yer won't get cissy nosh in 'ere,chum!'

'I hope everyone likes ostrich.'

You know that feeling you get after shoving 5,000 calories down your yam hole?

'Yummy! I could eat here every day!'

"Oh, come on—it's 8 a.m. somewhere."