Holiday Feast Fan Gifts

'I hope everyone likes ostrich.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"I love these old decorations!"

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"Regular service or affected?"

Meet Santa's entourage

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Easter Candy Island.

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

Stuffing the turkey.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

Ring those Christmas bells!

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

'Your dad only works one day a week but mine only works ONE day a year!'

Christmas reunions!

"Dude, last night was nuts."

Nativity Scene on the Underground

How many times have I told you not to leave it running?

You are what you eat

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

'Rats!!...Socks!!...Again!!'

inflation at Christmas

Easter Bunny Pushing Father Christmas Out The Way.

T is for Turkey

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"And the special tonight is...some kind of unpronounceable, convoluted, uncommon and rather bizarre green or other..."

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

Christmas food.

'Thank you for another blessed year together.'