Capitol Hill Gladiator Pillows

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

Punishment for the kicker.

Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

Two office workers playing between their cubicles.

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

"Are you not infotained?!!"

Football Blockers.

Monster chariot races

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"I'll have my people stalk, kill and devour your people."

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

Who to Sue Today.

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."