Capitol Hill Gladiator Gifts

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

Two office workers playing between their cubicles.

Old man fighting against time with an arm wrestle.

Football Blockers.

"Are you not infotained?!!"

Monster chariot races

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

"I'll have my people stalk, kill and devour your people."

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

You Don't Know What It's Like

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

Who to Sue Today.

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

Law School Sharks