Gop Gladiator Gifts

Donald Trump

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Everything's gone up."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'The grudge match.'

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Football.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Punishment for the kicker.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'He has some unresolved issues.'

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

'Gentlemen--- choose your Pistils!' THE DUEL OF THE FLORISTS.

"She can be outspoken."

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

Football Blockers.

Law School Sharks

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

Power Point Hell

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

'Uh-oh ... Manning got hit hard, and he's not getting up.'