Marriage Gladiator Gifts

"Hang in there. If you win this bout, you get to fight his mother."

"Things were great until we decided to renew our rows."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"Everything's gone up."

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

American Football.

This castle manager job better be for real.

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

"They pay well but they expect a lot from you."

Boy defends his last fry.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'I've fired the entire company except you, Jerkins. You'll have more work without pay, but you do have job security.'

"I've called the meeting to discuss the problem of stress int he workplace."

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

The rat race

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

"It was a horrible workplace accident - he tripped and fell into the company rumor mill. Poor devil never knew what hit him!"

Pecking order spats take their toll.

Football Blockers.

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."