Capitalism Cynic Gifts

'It's very sad. He ran out of grandmothers to sell.'

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

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'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Stock market investment advice

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

The Price of Freedom

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

Tempest in a Teapot

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

'The company's in great shape financially. Hey, a bent but still usable staple!'

'We use a modified 'carrot and stick' approach here - We've done away with the carrot.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I'd like you to become a smaller, lower-paid version of myself.'

Corporate Greed.

"Sir, your greed is showing."

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Money is life's report card."

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

'Don't worry about doing the right thing. There'll be plenty of time for that when you're fired,retired,or reincarnated.'

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

Business men and women walking around following dollar signs.

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'