Capitalism Cynic T-Shirts

'It's very sad. He ran out of grandmothers to sell.'

"Stocks rose today on news that even higher taxes won't stop the rich from getting richer."

Who is stupid enough to buy this crap?

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Stock market investment advice

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'Need I tell you the name of the game?'

'Make them a four billion dollar takeover offer, but don't cause a fuss.'

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

'The company's in great shape financially. Hey, a bent but still usable staple!'

The Price of Freedom

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

Go slow delegating authority. First learn how to delegate blame.

'We use a modified 'carrot and stick' approach here - We've done away with the carrot.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I'd like you to become a smaller, lower-paid version of myself.'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Corporate Greed.

"Sir, your greed is showing."

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

"Money is life's report card."

'Don't worry about doing the right thing. There'll be plenty of time for that when you're fired,retired,or reincarnated.'

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

Business men and women walking around following dollar signs.

'The position carries no health benefits but we do give you a mantra which you can recite daily to promote good health.'

'The project isn't that important, so put some of your worst people on it.'

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'