Capital Punishment Gifts

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

Extreme Sisyphus

Minority Report

Stop and Birch

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'The financial advisor is here.'

'Joey, I know how fast you are, but this guy's a special problem.'

"Wait, ok, I've got it. It says, 'Beware....land....shark.'"

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

Special Place in Hell...

"Look,we'll settle this on penalties, not an American style shoot out."

Penalty

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

"You're fired."

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

Official Support Groups

'The hard time isn't so bad, but that community service is murder!'

We are faced with a dilemma about why American social fabric is unravelling with such bewildering violence...fry a few people to make ourselves feel better about it!

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

"How do you feel about plea bargaining?"

'We also have gravity boots in faux cow hide.'

In concert with Garth Vader

Footballer's Wages

"Always wondered what happened if you tried to drive through without a card."

I Do Not have OCD

"I interpret the death penalty according to the times."

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

'Oh good! I hate long lines.'

Welcome to our own tiny slice of International Spacestation!

"I got a no TV for a week in math, a no dessert for a month in history, and a just wait 'til your father gets home in social studies."