Political Punisher Gifts

Biden's great challenge.

British savings accounts

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

Stop and Birch

'Well, if you're going to order 'left wings' and I'm going to order 'right,' maybe we should just order burgers instead.'

Desk sign: 'Brown-nose'.

"Let's not try to make this symbolic. Of anything."

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

King Pin

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

"Read me the one about Ali Obama and the Forty Community Organizers."

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

Statue of Liberty: Out of Service

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

"No Littering" sign in space.

Statistics Research: You Can Fool 45% of the People 55% of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

"I feel that I've been given a unique opportunity to speak out on the issues."

'This is what I mean about inadequate interagency cooperation.'

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

I wonder who's Kissinger now?

"You've placed me in a difficult position here, Malcolm."

On - Undecided - Off switch

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

Political Science

Sen. Krupt. If they think watching sausage and laws being made is bad, they should see us tackle pork legislation!