Capability Connoisseur Gifts

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

He acts all cool and feral until the can of food comes out. Jingle jingle jingle.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Jackson Pollock as a child

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

A Highly Networked Staff

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!