Capability Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"JB wears many hats. He just can't delegate"

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

Jackson Pollock as a child

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

A Highly Networked Staff

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

"I'm a huge proponent of control over speed."

'Negotiating skills need fine tuning.'

Broccoli: Just Full of Surprises!

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'