Canteen Comedy Loves Gifts

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

Cafe Burns.

Tongue in the ear...

'Chili again?'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

'You made me jump,'

"Let's touch base again at three."

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

"Of course you still make me laugh, just not out loud."

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'Mind if we turn this off? I freckle easily.'

'Delegating has worked well for me....I haven't actually done anything since 1993.'

'Congratulations, Fingleworth. You made the 'Million Dollar Club.' We estimate that's what you've cost the company.'

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'One kiss will turn me into a prince. But you won't like the stretch marks.'

Woah!...Hold it right there! This micro-managing stuff stops right here and now!'

"See that momentary rise in profits? That's when I sacrificed Henshaw to the Business Gods who live under my desk, so who's the 'Mad Manager' now?"

"Hmm... Do I get it?"