Canteen Comedy Loves T-Shirts

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

Cafe Burns.

Tongue in the ear...

'Chili again?'

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"Go on in—he's expecting you."

'You made me jump,'

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"Let's touch base again at three."

'Accounting has suggested we standardize our billing procedure.'

"Of course you still make me laugh, just not out loud."

'Due to company cutbacks, you won't be getting that raise. However, to earn extra money, I can hire you to wash my corporate jet.'

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

"There is no 'I' in 'team', however there are several 'I's in 'I'm the boss and you do what I say'."

'Why did you leave your last job?' 'You would too, if they sold your desk and changed all the locks!'

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

Drac, I gotta have a better office if I'm gonna market your Tomato Juice.

Thank You for Not Bringing Up My Salary

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'Mind if we turn this off? I freckle easily.'

Frankly, I've seen better menus on my computer accounts Package.

'Delegating has worked well for me....I haven't actually done anything since 1993.'

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'Congratulations, Fingleworth. You made the 'Million Dollar Club.' We estimate that's what you've cost the company.'

'One kiss will turn me into a prince. But you won't like the stretch marks.'

Woah!...Hold it right there! This micro-managing stuff stops right here and now!'

"See that momentary rise in profits? That's when I sacrificed Henshaw to the Business Gods who live under my desk, so who's the 'Mad Manager' now?"

"Congratulations, Thornhill. It seems you won this year's downhill championship!"