Canine Sports Pillows

"That's just not the real me."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Agility God

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

'Not here - home!'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

Chasebook

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Watchdog on Holiday

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Gesundheit!"

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play...

Prepper Dog

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

When Dogs Rule

"You should run for president."

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

Dog fetches dice