Canine Security Champion Gifts

"In the middle of the night, I could see a guy trying to steal the neighbour's car, so I barked, but the neighbour yelled at me to shut up, so I did. . ."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

A Change of Scene.

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

Doggy Bites

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

"Just one last crossing to make..."

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"I've got a pulse!"

'I made a backup disc. Then I realized I wanted a backup of the backup. Then I decided just to be safe, to make a backup of that backup...'

'Well, if I have rights, I demand the right not to be neutered!'

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

Playing catch with dog until your arm gives out.

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

Only Larry showed a look of concern as he remembered his mother's warnings that he should never run with Scissors.

"I'm from PETA. I have a report you are beating a dead horse."

'Safety on the beach.'

"OK, you have your assignments for today, and remember, safety first: Ensure the kids wear their riding helmets..."

"That was a nice smooth stop. My one concern is that it was right on my truck!"

Job Safety - Safety Goal.

"You lose! Those can't cut anything."

'How's the new company car?'

'I don't regard hunting as a sport.' 'Neither do I!'

Gen Z

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

Lollipop lady

'We all have to maintain our personal boundaries. I'm prepared to maintain mine with pepper spray.'

Humbug! What has health and safety ever done ! Apart from dramatically reduce accidents at work...cut serious injuries...reduce time off sick...