Canine Champ Gifts

'...There's something about rescued dogs - they're just eager to please.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'She hasn't advanced to figure eights yet.'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Just Stop Boil

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'Are we having fun yet?'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

Doggy Bites

Schrodinger's kittens

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

"I've got a pulse!"

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Monkey casino study.

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

Stock Wanted

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Apparently Barking Rovers have won the cup.

'Well, if I have rights, I demand the right not to be neutered!'

Playing catch with dog until your arm gives out.

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

"I said SLIPPERS!"

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"What setting do I use for this?"

"I'm from PETA. I have a report you are beating a dead horse."

"Love them rays, Chief."

"Careful...she bites."

"It's not you, Gavin. . . it's just that I could never love anyone who still used plastic bags."

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'

Little known evolutionary steps.