Canine Jury Member Gifts

"Guilty of something. I can just tell."

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Your honour, we find the defendent 'politically incorrect'.'

Eleven Angry Men and One Happy Chappy

'Is your verdict unanimous?'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."