Jolly Jury Member Gifts

"So, Mr. Claus, there IS a Virginia!"

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"#notguilty."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, and thank you for asking."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"We find the defendant 'guilty', …. not that there's anything wrong with that."

'It wasn't easy, but I got you a jury of your peers — six hairdressers, five interior decorators, and a professor of 18th Century poetry.'

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

Dog defendant and cat jury - The Rigged Jury

This is my story and I'm stickin with it!

'The jury have instructed me to say that they expected a rather more spicy case.'

Boy in court swearing oath on comic book

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

"We find the defendant guilty because he doth protest too much."

'I'd better start on your appeal.'

A judge, the lawyers for the prosecution and defense, the accused and the jury stand in front of a packed courtroom and bow while holding hands like they are finishing a performance.

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'