Jolly Investigator Gifts

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

"Say, Chief, any progress on the pencil case?"

Expanded Limited Investigation

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."