Intrigue Investigator Gifts

Conspiracy theories are just a smokescreen to hide the incredible truth

Fingerprint Show

Two men converse secretively

"This is not good at all!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Totalitarian Humour

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.