Candy Schemers T-Shirts

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Building a gingerbread house

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

'Damn, I just love this new problem solving tool!'

"Look, let's just say I haven't seen anything, Charlie hasn't heard anything, and Tom hasn't said anything."

'We've decided to foreclose on Paraguay, Ferguson -- Get down there and take the place over.'

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

"So, are we singing from the same hymnbook?"

'There's no money in comic strips.'

In. Out. Destroyed without my knowledge.

Kids in spooky costumes doing trick or treat

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

"If we don't decide what we're worth, who will?"

Fox dreams of catching chicken to sell on special offer

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'

'Ms,Hobbs, send in someone devious, I'm in the mood to match wits today,'

'The Big Guy seems to trust him. Would you help us kill him?'

'Remember: it's not the winning, it's the taking your cut.'

"Our plan for world domination starts with the chew toys."

"The lab boys figured out how to change lead into gold. Now your job is to corner the lead market."