Candy Schemers T-Shirts

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

Building a gingerbread house

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

'Damn, I just love this new problem solving tool!'

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"

'We've decided to foreclose on Paraguay, Ferguson -- Get down there and take the place over.'

"Look, let's just say I haven't seen anything, Charlie hasn't heard anything, and Tom hasn't said anything."

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

"Hang on - this one's a Malteser!!"

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"So, are we singing from the same hymnbook?"

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

'There's no money in comic strips.'

In. Out. Destroyed without my knowledge.

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

Kids in spooky costumes doing trick or treat

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

"If we don't decide what we're worth, who will?"

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

Fox dreams of catching chicken to sell on special offer

"Our plan for world domination starts with the chew toys."

'Ms,Hobbs, send in someone devious, I'm in the mood to match wits today,'

'The Big Guy seems to trust him. Would you help us kill him?'

'Remember: it's not the winning, it's the taking your cut.'

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'