Culinary Schemer T-Shirts

'There's no money in comic strips.'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"And that is how you handle liver!"

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Television company new recruit

"Well of course it's fast food. I cooked it faster than a speeding bullet."

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

'Tasty.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

Ambitions...To Eat My Words: "Lobster, Fllet Steak, Peaches in Brandy."

"It's a setup."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Something with enough depth to taste like success to me and shame to him."

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'