Candy Schemer T-Shirts

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

No Miss, I wasn't day dreaming. I was planning my summer vacation!

'Damn, I just love this new problem solving tool!'

'We've decided to foreclose on Paraguay, Ferguson -- Get down there and take the place over.'

"Look, let's just say I haven't seen anything, Charlie hasn't heard anything, and Tom hasn't said anything."

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

'Danae...you seem to spend twice the time and energy in avoiding your schoolwork than it would take to actually do the work...How far do you expect that'll get you in life?'

"So, are we singing from the same hymnbook?"

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

'There's no money in comic strips.'

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

In. Out. Destroyed without my knowledge.

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

Kids in spooky costumes doing trick or treat

"Poor jelly babies. It's a short like, and a chewy one."

"If we don't decide what we're worth, who will?"

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

'Ms,Hobbs, send in someone devious, I'm in the mood to match wits today,'

'The Big Guy seems to trust him. Would you help us kill him?'

"The lab boys figured out how to change lead into gold. Now your job is to corner the lead market."

A road side billboard advertises: 'bus drivers eat-free' a man is seen rigging a false panel that looks like a bus to his caravan.