Candle Extinguishing Expert T-Shirts

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Candle Moment

'There's nothing more romantic than candle light when it hides the dirty dishes.'

Visiting 'friends'.

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Polly's 217 Years' Birthday Party was very Successful until Mrs. Wilson lit the Birthday Cake

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Man lighting ceiling candle

'You rang?'

Candlelight dinner? Oh, Edgar - how romantic. You must've driven around hours.

'You think you're close? Listen Bud, I wrote the book on extinction!'

Happy Holidays: Peace children.

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

'I see you've heard the news.'

'Push the smoked turkey, the smoked ham, the smoked salmon...'

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

A man climbs a tree to try to blow out the sun.

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

'What happened? You and the wife having a fight?'

Easter Island Candles.

A Martha Stewart Moment in Apartment 8-J

"For god's sake, man! Quick! Blow out the candles!"

'It's your wife, she wants you to pick up some milk on your way home.'

'Bob, you gotta slow down. This burning at both ends is gonna kill you!'