Candle Extinguishing Expert T-Shirts

'Okay, make a wish, and bowl out the candles...'

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Candle Moment

"Oh, do you like the candles? I made them myself our of old crayons!"

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'

Visiting 'friends'.

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

'There's nothing more romantic than candle light when it hides the dirty dishes.'

Polly's 217 Years' Birthday Party was very Successful until Mrs. Wilson lit the Birthday Cake

Cover Design for the Yellow Book, Vol 1

Man lighting ceiling candle

Candlelight dinner? Oh, Edgar - how romantic. You must've driven around hours.

'You rang?'

'You think you're close? Listen Bud, I wrote the book on extinction!'

Happy Holidays: Peace children.

'I see you've heard the news.'

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

Acme Candles - In case of fire, break glass.

'Push the smoked turkey, the smoked ham, the smoked salmon...'

A man climbs a tree to try to blow out the sun.

"Hey - are those scented candles???"

'What happened? You and the wife having a fight?'

"Look! Isn't that your old flame from high school?"

Easter Island Candles.

A Martha Stewart Moment in Apartment 8-J

"For god's sake, man! Quick! Blow out the candles!"

"How many times do I have to tell you I don't like it when you blow in my ear!"

'Don't look. You'll burn your eyes out.'

How Aging Affects Candles. . .

'It's your wife, she wants you to pick up some milk on your way home.'