Campus Comic Gifts

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Don't you hate...

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Undergraduate and don

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

Little known fact: I spent a semester at Reed College in Portland. "Little known facts" are supposed to be momentous. Well, the little known fact is, while I was there, I asked a lady out

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.