Campus Comic Pillows

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

"If you opt for our premium package Ryan will only have tenured professors."

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'I'm on the short degree course... hell of a lot to pack into one year!'

Don't you hate...

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"I think our daughter should change her major. She can now ask for money in 3 different languages!"

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'I suspected hackers when it accepted all the student scholarship applications.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

That's Roderick Sloan, the Alvin Meriwether professor of business administration, and with him is Alvin Meriwether, the Roderick Sloan professor of economics.

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Undergraduate and don

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

Awesome. Now let's try this with bottles.

"Don’t you just love professor Dahl’s lectures on Tibetan rawhide?"