Camera Ready Gifts

I want to be on reality TV.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Bad hair day!

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

Candid Camera store.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

Next camera crew 5 mins

Hollywood producer.

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"I can't stop it, so I may as well try to cash in on the tourism boom..."

True Story Movie

Man Ray

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

"Hamlet today"

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'I'm getting ready as fast as I can, and for the last time, it's a vanity table, not a 'workstation'.'

Two reporters interview each other.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'Bob, you're spending too much time deer hunting. It's starting to show on you.'

'Hold on, the play is under review.'

"Don't forget to send selfies."

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

'With all these new surveillance cameras around town, I'm not going anywhere without full-make-up.'

'It means, like, stop filming...'