Calming Canines Gifts

"My master has built himself a "Zen Garden"! Now, I'm the one who's stressed as I'm not allowed in the garden anymore..."

"Pick me!"

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'What is it Spot? What are you trying to tell me?'

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"You've already been for a walk."

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Dog Messages

"I'm sixty three in human years and the mother of octuplets. Again."

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

Giacometti's less famous 'Man Walking Dog'

"It's been one of those days. I don't know if I’ve been chasing my tail or it's been chasing me."

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

"You can stop now. The squirrels are gone."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'Who handles your media, Rex?'

Dog in therapy.

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.

"I could have been a big celebrity but for my fear of public speaking."

'No need to shout.'

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.